Codependency

Have you ever felt like you prioritize someone else's needs above your own to the point where it’s affecting your identity and behaviours? If so, you may be experiencing codependency in a relationship! 

Codependency can manifest in many different ways, but it often involves an unhealthy reliance on another person's emotional well-being, which can lead to controlling or enabling behaviours. The good news is that we can address codependent patterns with awareness and support and establish healthier relationships.

Understanding Codependency

If you’re wondering whether the cause of your mental health is codependency, ponder on the following points:

• Are you putting someone else's needs before your own to the point of affecting your well-being?

• Are you sacrificing your own happiness, self-esteem, and identity to support the other person's emotional and mental health?

• Do you find yourself making excuses for the other person's behaviour, covering up their mistakes, or taking responsibility for their actions?

• Are you having difficulty saying no or setting limits, as well as an inability to distinguish one's own emotions from those of the other person?

• Are you relying on the other person for emotional validation and feeling anxious or distressed when they are not available?

If yes, then you have a severe case of codependency! 

But before we get to the treatment options for this issue, let’s go through the causes and symptoms of codependency.

Causes of Codependency

Codependency can have a lot of different causes and factors that contribute to it. They are complex and can involve environmental, psychological, and social factors. 

For instance:

• Childhood Experiences: Trauma, neglect, or abuse during childhood can be the number one cause of adult codependent behaviours.

• Family Dynamics: Growing up in a family where one or more members had addiction or mental health issues or an absence of healthy boundaries or emotional support can contribute to codependency.

• Personality Traits: People with low self-esteem, poor assertiveness, and a need for approval may be more prone to codependent behaviours.

• Societal and Cultural Norms: Societal expectations around gender roles, relationships, and caregiving can lead to codependency in some individuals.

Understanding what's causing our codependent behaviours can help us start to make healthier choices in our relationships and establish stronger boundaries that honour our own needs and well-being.

But how do you know for a fact that you are suffering from codependency issues?

Symptoms of Codependency

 Here are the symptoms you should look out for:

• Difficulty making decisions

• An excessive need for approval and validation from others

• Difficulty expressing emotions

• A tendency to put the needs of others before one's own needs

• Feeling responsible for the other person's behaviour or well-being

• Fear of being alone or abandoned

• Difficulty setting boundaries or saying no

• Chronic feelings of guilt or shame

And once you’re 100% sure that the root cause for your mental and behavioural issues is definitely codependency, you can proceed towards its treatment.

Treatment for Codependency

Codependency can be a difficult condition to overcome. However, the good news is that it is treatable, and several different approaches can effectively break the cycle of codependent behaviours.

This includes: 

• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

CBT can be an effective treatment for codependency by helping individuals identify and change their negative patterns of thought and behaviour. It focuses on building self-esteem, developing healthy coping skills, and setting relationship boundaries. CBT can also help individuals challenge and reframe their core beliefs about themselves and their relationships, leading to more positive and fulfilling interactions with others.

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is another type of psychotherapy that can effectively treat codependency. DBT emphasizes building skills in four key areas: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Focusing on these areas can help individuals with codependency learn to manage their emotions, establish healthy boundaries, and communicate more effectively in relationships.

• Group Therapy

Group therapy can also be an effective treatment option for codependency. In group therapy, individuals with similar experiences and struggles come together to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It provides a supportive and non-judgmental environment where individuals can learn from one another, receive feedback, and gain new perspectives on their codependent behaviours.

• Self-Care

  Practicing self-care, such as exercise, healthy eating, journaling, and mindfulness, can help individuals build self-esteem and develop a stronger sense of self.

It is important to remember that recovery from codependency is a process, and developing healthier behaviour patterns may take time and effort.

If you are struggling with codependency, know that help is available! Seeking the support of therapists or counsellors at Counselling and Psychotherapy Zurich can be a great step in addressing and working through codependent tendencies.

With time, effort, and the right resources, it is possible to break free from the cycle of codependency and build healthy, fulfilling relationships.